Monday, December 20, 2004

How you do keep yourself motivated?

hrrrmmpp.. i really wonder about it. i've been at this job for quite a number of years and honestly.. i'm starting to dread going to work.

i don't know if it is me or the environment that is slowly zapping me of enthusiasm and energy.

In an interview before i joined the library.. i was asked where i see myself in five years time. Well.. almost four years into the job.. i'm still doing what i did in the first year of my work.. and honestly. i'm getting very tired and bored with it. Ironically, i have been involved with so much more during my first years and getting involved with projects. Now.. all i get to do is to revamp a package, without the manpower and budget. ( that's another gripe)

I don't find the work challenging. At times.. i wonder if anything i do in the library is making an impact on patron's lives.

i now dread conducting programmes.. cos due to the openness of the venue... i'm constantly being interrupted by inconsiderate parents who dump their kids without consideration for the suitability of the programme or if kids needed to pay to attend the programme.

How do you do it? When you are in the middle of telling a story (at a programmes where parents pay money for their children to attend) and some other parent brought their kids into the programme and left them there? Would you... Do you stop the story to tell the parents that they have to pay?? What impact would the interruption have on the story and the children.. would you be losing their attention.. losing the build-up of the story.. losing what you have started on for the past 10-15minutes... short of re-telling the whole story... what do you do? just grit your teeth, be thick-skinned and advice the parents and continue the story?

It is things like that that is zapping me of my drive, passion and energy. What's the point in improving your skills in storytelling and entertaining the kids when you know that your session is going to be ruined anyway? Might as well do a crap job right?? Don't think that the kids themselves are enjoying it anyway.

Anyway.. i honestly don't see myself doing this for long... don't think that i'm contributing much.. and i rather be putting my energy in some other areas that i know i will enjoy doing and will be impactful and enjoyable to the recipients.

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